A Lesson From My Mom

There’s a moment most CEOs don’t talk about out loud.

You’ve built something that works.
You’ve got a team.
Things are moving.

And yet… everything still runs through you.

You’re still:

• Answering questions

• Making decisions

• Fixing problems

• Holding it all together

And if you step away—even briefly—it feels like things might wobble.

This is CEO dependency.

And it’s one of the biggest reasons organizations stall.

Not because people aren’t capable.
Not because the mission isn’t strong.

... But because the system still requires the CEO to be everywhere.

I learned what the alternative looks like long before I had the language for it.

From my mom.

My mom had no business training.

No leadership courses.

No frameworks.

No certifications.

And yet she ended up running a small independent school for 17 years. Growing it from about 30 students to 130 students.

She stepped in because no one else would. In a year when the teachers were facing working without pay.

She had to figure out everything herself:

• Bookkeeping

• Administration

• Operations

She rebuilt the financial foundation.

She helped grow the school into something stable, respected, and sustainable.

And then something interesting happened.

Years later, when everything was running smoothly, I asked her:

“What do you do all day?”

She laughed.

And said something I’ve never forgotten:

“I play solitaire on the computer… so I look busy enough that people don’t interrupt me unnecessarily.”

At first, that sounds like disengagement.

It’s not.

It’s mastery.

Because what she was really saying was:

“I’ve built a system that doesn’t need me to function for the regular day-to-day.”

She wasn’t absent.

She was available.

And there’s a big difference.

Most CEOs think delegation looks like:

• Assigning tasks

• Checking work

• Following up constantly

But that’s still control.

That’s still dependency.

What my mom had done—without ever naming it—was something very different:

👉 She delegated outcomes, not tasks.

Which means:

• People weren’t just doing work

• They were responsible for results

And that changes everything.

When I looked back, I could see how she did it.

It didn’t look like systems diagrams or org charts.

It looked simple and functional.

And it wasn’t accidental.

It looked like this:

• She had my dad build a large table so teachers could all meet together

• She arranged for someone to make soup for weekly staff lunch while they met

• She created space for the team to collaborate and solve problems together

What was she actually doing?

She was:

• Distributing decision-making

• Creating shared ownership

• Building alignment through conversation

She wasn’t the center of the system.

The team was.

This is where most CEOs get stuck.

Because early on, your success does come from being involved in everything.

You are:

• The decision-maker

• The doer

• The problem-solver

And it works… until it doesn’t.

At some point the system that got you here becomes the thing holding you back.

Because:

Systems create behavior.

If your system requires you, it will keep pulling you back in.

Let’s name the real reasons.

It’s not just operational.

It’s internal.

1. Identity

You’ve been the one making things happen.

Letting go can feel like:

• Losing control

• Losing relevance

• Or even losing value

2. Trust

Even if your team is capable…

You know you can do it faster, better, or cleaner.

So you stay involved.

3. Fear of Drop-Off

What if quality slips?
What if something breaks?
What if results dip?

So you stay involved “just in case.”

4. No Clear Structure

This is the biggest one.

Most CEOs try to delegate without redesigning the system.

So the work comes back.

Again and again.

Here’s the simplest way to see it:

Dependent Team

• Waits for direction

• Executes tasks

• Needs frequent input

• Escalates decisions

Aligned Team

• Owns outcomes

• Makes decisions

• Solves problems

• Moves work forward

The difference is not talent.

It’s structure + clarity.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

The work you’re supposed to be doing as CEO often feels…

Too easy.

Too spacious.

Too undefined.

Which is why people fill it with tasks instead.

But the real work is:

• Thinking

• Observing

• Listening

• Deciding direction

• Creating clarity

It doesn’t look busy.

But it’s what makes everything else work.

While my mom was playing solitaire on her computer, her office door was open and she could hear the goings on. She was observing the pulse and she was available when something extra was needed. Meanwhile looking busy at the computer prevented staff from defaulting back to CEO reliance. It was like an invisible bouncy wall that made people ask themselves if they could figure out what the needed on their own.

If you only take one thing away:

👉 Look at where you are still the bottleneck.

Ask:

• What decisions still come to me?

• What results am I still holding?

• Where does work stall without me?

Then:

👉 Choose ONE area and shift it to outcome

ownership.